My health journey has been a rocky one and yesterday added yet another bump in this already winding road. I’m 4 weeks post knee surgery and having more pain than I should be. The doctor confirmed a complication called a flection contracture which is essentially a deformation of the muscles around my knee. I’ll now be going through intense physical therapy for the next 3 weeks in order to try to reverse this (if not, I will have permanent damage and limited range of motion).

The doctor told me, with a quiver in her voice, that these next few weeks are going to be incredibly painful and there’s nothing I can take that will allow me to drive or mesh well with my neuro meds. My spirit just dropped to the floor. I was crushed. When is this enough already? Yesterday was flooded with tears, worries, a very aggravated knee, and a very aggravated Kelley. As I tried to get comfortable in my bed last night, I felt the urge to write down my thoughts. Here’s a window to my current feelings:

Enough

Tears well up, they burn my eyes

While my smile tries to bluff.

A crumbling, tattered, worn disguise

Reveals a heart that’s had enough.

My body breaks, my will it caves,

This journey’s road is rough.

Exhaustion drowns me in life’s waves.

My strength, it’s not enough.

Yet when I count it all as loss

And feel it’s far too tough,

A voice calls from a rugged cross

“My child, I’m enough!”