So, Where's the Good?

This picture was taken not too long before my grandma passed away a few years ago. My sweet little girl was kissing her great-grandmother’s hand in an attempt to comfort her. I’ll always cherish the beauty of this moment I was able to stop in its tracks, but the freight train of my grandma’s loss would continue to come barreling through my life nonetheless. It still stings, I’m not sure time will ever quite take that away.

This life can be so draining and yet the Bible tells us there’s a purpose and plan for everything that happens. Romans 8:28 says “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

I know that the Word of God encompasses total truth and that every promise will be upheld, but the fact of the matter remains that in the moment - in the midst of the excruciating crucible filled with blazing flames that consume any sense of joy - this promise seems impossible. I have a friend right now whose little boy is fighting a losing battle with a brain tumor, I have another friend trying to keep her chin up as her breast cancer drags her down. Still another friend watched her several-year marriage become reduced to a painful history lesson as her husband decided that staying committed to her just wasn’t his top priority. As for me and my family, I’ve shared my own health struggles with you guys in very vivid detail. None of this makes any sense when we bump each of these situations up against our meaning of the word ‘good,’ right? Tumors aren’t good, sickness isn’t good, broken relationships aren’t good, pain and chronic illness aren’t good. How do we reconcile this?

Before we dig into the ‘how’, I want to first focus on the ‘why’. God promises that ALL things will work together for good because we love Him, He loves us, and we are called to a greater purpose - HIS purpose. Not “some things,” “the pleasant things” or “the easy things.” All things. And the events in our lifetime (whether good or bad) aren’t about us, they are a culmination of stepping stones that ultimately lead to The Lord’s glory. Our suffering is terribly hard at times and often seems unfair, but we can find comfort in the fact that there IS a purpose to every microsecond of the agony we experience and that this suffering is never in vain. It has incredible meaning and that meaning will aim a shining light toward our Savior’s loving and perfect nature.

But what about us? How do we cope with the things we would give anything to change? I have three ways I think goodness is revealed in the midst of our broken moments. I hope these serve to provide some positive direction and give you the ability to know and embrace the reality that God’s goodness is present in life’s devastating scenarios. Let me explain:

1 - Sometimes the good will be revealed in our lifetime

This is our hope, right? That we get to see our sick loved one experience a healing miracle and we get to give God all the credit, that the person who desired to end our marriage has a change of heart and comes back to patch up the brokenness that mirrors the fairytale ending starring a love that conquers all, or maybe our chronic condition is simply a misdiagnosis and some magic medication takes it all away. We pray that we can walk through the battlefield but somehow dodge all the lethal bullets. We are grazed, but not totally brought to our knees. We learn the life-altering lessons but are then allowed to carry on in peaceful bliss. We get to point to the heavens as we glorify Christ but we experience God’s grace by avoiding the crushing reality of a permanent disaster. Sometimes this happens and, for these outcomes, we are forever thankful. But sometimes the bullet finds its way straight to our heart, that’s where goodness is revealed in a completely different way.

2 - Sometimes the good will be revealed in our hearts

At times we get to see circumstantial goodness come to fruition on this side of Heaven, but most of the time we are called to weather the storm. The miracle doesn’t happen, the wandering spouse has no desire to return, the chronic pain has a lifelong prognosis. Now what? We have a choice. We can grow bitter toward The Lord for allowing our tragedy to stick - which is what most of us naturally lean toward, at least at first. Our other option is to trust that this will work together for good somehow. We still need to feel every emotion that our situation conjures up, to grieve any loss that comes along with it, and to wrestle with God as we ask Him all of our brutally honest questions. Even Jesus did that as He grew closer and closer to His dreaded crucifixion. But after all the dust settles, we are left with a sort of blind faith - the answers aren’t there for us to see and understand with full clarity. This is so hard, but it’s the spiritually rich soil that our souls need in order to grow the deepest roots. It’s the precise place where the goodness of God manifests itself, not externally through positive circumstantial outcomes, but internally despite our external heartbreak.

As it relates to my body, I’m most likely going to live in the ‘goodness will be revealed in my heart’ category until I take my final breath. Barring an altered diagnosis or a miracle drug, I’m serving out a medical life sentence. I’m being forced to adjust to my condition because the reality is that my chronic ailments probably aren’t going to change much. What has changed, however, is my faith in Christ as I face each day’s various challenges. Angry and hardhearted at first, my attitude has shifted as I begin to place my faith firmly on the promises of God and I’ve been able to come alongside others with a message of peace in crisis as a result. I still have my moments, I still grieve, I still have so many questions, but I know the good will overcome the bad as The Lord’s plan plays out. I may never see it in this lifetime, but it doesn’t matter. What holds all the weight is how I navigate my personal journey and how willing I am to let Him use me as a beacon of light that points others to the ultimate source of my hope and joy. The rest is not up to me and I’m starting to become okay with that.

3 - The good will always be revealed in eternity

Regardless of whether we experience the first or second aforementioned scenario (we’ll probably encounter a combination of them both), we are all guaranteed the hope of this third one. Our eyes WILL be opened when we reach eternity and all of this will make sense. I know this seems a long way off and, at the rocky bottom of the deep hole of devastation, this just flat out seems incomprehensible. But our perception of reality doesn’t alter the truth and no amount of heavy darkness can cast out the light of this promise that will forever be kept. One day, we will be face to face with our King and all of our questions will become clear. Heaven is a place that is free of pain. I believe with my whole being that part of that pain relief comes with the reconciliation of our earthly hurts in relation to their heavenly answers and the ability to witness the One whose glory we made our focus to achieve as we stumbled our way through it all with the help of His guidance. This will be the happiest day of our lives and the beginning of an existence that will make tears, pain, frustration, and heartache all things we will get the pleasure of placing in the “extinction” category.

So have faith, friends, even if it’s only the size of a mustard seed right now. That’s all you need. This world hurts, there’s no getting around that. Some of these trials will be resolved in our lifetime, some will only find resolution in the form of our altered hearts and an inexplicable peace as we are forced to face the gut-punch of some terrible reality. But neither of these scenarios lend themselves to how this all ends. As Christians, we get the distinct privilege of KNOWING that we can rest in our Savior’s strength to bring us through all of it. We will fight to use our circumstances as a way to glorify God knowing that we will get to personally see a proud smile on our Father’s face one day. We also get to have total confidence that clarity will be ours when we reach eternity. All things WILL work together for good!