Heart Appraisal - Dealing with Judgement

In this environment of crazy low rates we decided to refinance our home and had an appraisal done yesterday. I’ve been through these a few times and I swear it’s like taking a final exam - particularly the essay portion. You prep as much as you can and then you hold your breath as you wait for your final grade. The appraiser’s opinion counts. Her version of the value of our house is what is going to matter to the bank.

What’s sometimes hard for me to swallow is that the ‘soft’ stuff doesn’t really hold any weight in the eyes of the appraiser. The memories, the photos smiling back at us in every room, the love that exists within these four walls - none of it is important to the final grade. None of it adds financial value.

And yet our family finds so much value in these things. Yes we have x amount of bedrooms, but do you know how many times we’ve tucked our babies in in those bedrooms or how each little handmade decoration means the world to our kiddos? Yes, we have a fireplace in our living room but do you know how much joy that fireplace has brought with its stockings at Christmas time or it’s display of cherished items from some of our loved ones who are no longer here? Yes, we’ve refinished the cabinets in our kitchen but do you know how many yummy concoctions we’ve created together in there, making messy memories and laughing while we lick the spoons?

All too often, I feel like we encounter these cold, businesslike appraisals in our daily lives when it comes to other’s personal opinions of us (we give them, too, by the way). Oh, you live there? You drive that? You feed your kids what now? You don’t exercise regularly? You do/don’t . . . fill in the blank, the list could go on for pages. We are taught to believe that we have 5 seconds to make a good (or bad) first impression, right? It’s human nature to conduct a quick scan and think we know everything we need in order to form our idea of someone else. And we know this feeling when someone does the same to us. If only they knew you lived in a smaller home because you are financially supporting a sick relative or if only they realized you deprived your child of that brownie because of a food allergy. If only they could see our hearts. If only we could see theirs.

In Matthew 7:3, Jesus says “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” We are not all knowing, friends. That’s God’s superpower. We have a limited view of the landscape. And yet, we are incredibly quick to perform snap judgements aren’t we? I know I can be. I’ve been guilty way too many times of making completely wrong assumptions about someone only to find out later that a genuine question or ounce of grace would have revealed something very sweet about their character.

So next time you attempt to appraise someone, stop to take inventory of their heart. And thank goodness this is how God sees us by the way! He’s not impressed with our exterior improvements, He wants to know our internal motivations. He doesn’t care about the color of our walls, He’s concerned with the nature of our thoughts and actions. I challenge you to work on removing the log in your eye, I know I’ll be working on mine. Maybe then we can see those around us more clearly and learn to love them more deeply, even if their eyes contain a tiny speck or two.