So, Can We Talk About 'New Normals'?

A “New Normal” - something I feel we are all longing for both in the current state of our world and also in the various stages of our personal lives. We are always striving to settle in to what we deem a normal way of existing when things seem remotely stable and then pivot to adjust to a so-called new normal when situations flux. But, dare I ask, does this life ever really reach a state of any kind of normalcy?

The word normal, by definition, is described as “(adj.) usual, typical, or expected; (n) the usual, average, or typical state or condition.” I don’t know about you, but most of my days are chalk full of moments that are anything but usual, typical or expected. Pre-disability, a typical morning did not exist when getting 3 small kids ready and out the door by 6:30am. I’d arrive at work to find emails about changes to the company “this” or customers in need of a last minute “that”. Flights were delayed, meetings were moved around, traffic was jammed. No two days were ever the same. I’d drag my exhausted self home to an equally tired husband and 3 kiddos who hadn’t seen their mama since the early morning hours. Our interactions at that point had no normal cadence either. Sometimes our evenings went beautifully and I’d gather a second wind to give them the much needed attention they deserved, sometimes these nights bordered on World War III. It was always a mixed bag, there was no such thing as ‘normal’.

Now that I’m home with a broken brain and a busted knee, the chaos has just taken on a different shape. Normal isn’t a word I’d use to describe our more recent days, either, unless I make the argument that it’s “usual, typical and expected” to not encounter the norm. And what about a “new normal”? This seems to be our culture’s current buzz phrase. I’ve admittedly used it to death until I started truly thinking about it’s meaning. If normal wasn’t achieved before, how could it be achieved in a new way now? So I used to get up and go to work every day and now I stay home with my kids while my body is trying to figure out the best environment to function in, does that mean I’ve gone from one level of normal to the next? Was any of this really normal to begin with?

Sometimes I believe we expect too much out of whatever we dream up and define as ‘normal’ simply to provide ourselves with an emotional security blanket, a set of neat mental compartments to place our daily checklist into. We crave some version of habitual consistency that never actually existed if we are honest enough to step back and objectively evaluate the granular details of our day to day. Circumstances are everchanging, people are regularly rotating in and out of our lives, the very core of who we are and what we prioritize is evolving as we grow.

We live out a ‘new normal’ all the time if we really take the time to think about it. Something about today has changed from yesterday and something about tomorrow will be different as well. You’ve learned something new, you’ve changed your opinion about someone, you’ve opened your eyes to a new way of thinking, the event you’ve been looking forward to got cancelled, an impromptu meeting got added to your agenda, a child came down with the flu, your tire went flat, your health feels off, an unexpected refund showed up in the mail, you got a small raise, you got a random call from a friend, the list never ends. It’s an ebb and flow of highs and lows, sometimes minute to minute.

And it’s these seemingly small adjustments that eventually lead to the larger epiphanies and alterations in life equating to our need for a ‘new normal.’ It’s the major changes outside of our control that shift our idea of a former ‘normal’ that was never truly normal to begin with. It was merely our idea of how we felt about a group of familiar circumstances that were made up of tiny tides of change. The distinction is that we notice the big stuff - the job loss, the loved one who is now gone, the new relationship, the tug on our hearts to move half way across the country. I think God uses the little daily changes to prepare us for the big swings. I think He providentially purposes little hiccups, sidesteps and upward movements because He knows we need training wheels before we’ll be ready to take off and ride at full speed.

Take comfort, friends, and stop chasing the next ‘new normal’. In the middle of all the revolving pieces both personally and globally, this too will most likely pass. If it does stick around long term, it will inevitably change in some way and probably more than a few times over. And just when you think you’ve reached a state of plateau, you’ll wake up to another switch up in the status quo. Sometimes the momentum will be in our favor and sometimes it won’t be anywhere close to what we desire, but I can promise you it is always within the perfect will of God. While nothing else is ‘normal’, the consistency of Christ will always remain ‘usual, typical, and expected’ because His nature cannot waver, His character cannot falter and His promises cannot be altered. So, while you trend toward expecting the unexpected out of life’s daily grind, know this one thing - you can confidently find your normalcy in Christ!