A Love-Love Relationship

In the spirit of celebrating Valentine’s Day a few days ago, let’s talk about love.

Love can be a confusing word because it has so many different meanings. Clearly we don’t love cheeseburgers the same way we love a child, a friend, our families, or a pet, and yet we reference the same word. Love evolves over the course of a relationship from this all encompassing surface flood of emotion to a deep, grounding connection of two souls, and yet we use the same word. Love has different levels, if you will.

Lately, I’ve felt like I’m a bit perplexed about what level of love I’m on with God. At the paramount of my physical drama, I was on crutches from my second knee surgery, had COVID, had pneumonia from COVID, had a clotting issue due to COVID, and - as if this wasn’t enough to push me over the edge - I was hospitalized on stroke watch because COVID and my clotting issue threw my neurological disorder into overdrive and I had a TIA. Oh, and I was completely alone (also COVID). Yeah, COVID’s a beast.

As I’m sluggishly wading through these thick and muddy swamp waters of my life, I KNOW that God loves me but man this does NOT feel like love. How is this love? How can this come from the one being in the universe who is supposed to love me more than anyone and anything else ever can?

Did I do something wrong? Maybe. Is this a test? Maybe. Is this meant to put me on a level that humbles my spirit and allows me to relate to others who are suffering? Most likely. So many questions ran through my head and I started spiraling in my own self pity. It got pretty dark.

But then God broke the sobering silence. He gently whispered his Word to my heart; a verse I had memorized in a church group as a carefree kid became so very real to me as an anxious adult,

“And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:7

A lightbulb went off. Friends, our circumstances do not determine our peace. Let me say that again for the people in the back… OUR CIRCUMSTANCES DO NOT DETERMINE OUR PEACE! God has made peace accessible to us inspite of our circumstances if we will only accept it.

I’m trying, it’s not always easy but it is simple. There is a peace available to all of us that will protect our hearts and minds so that we can go through whatever life throws at us with a sense of calm and joy. God has many reasons for what he allows into our earthly journeys, but he also gives us his peace and the promise of the Holy Spirit. He does not leave us alone. I may not have been permitted visitors during my hospital stay, but I was not alone. God was with me the entire time.

So, back to these ‘levels of love.’ My love for God isn’t perfect, but it’s maturing as he brings various people and situations into my life to refine how I love. Now God’s love, however, there’s no refining needed there. He is the epitome of agape love- which is the highest form a love, a love without condition. You guys, we cannot change God’s love for us, there are no conditions attached to it. As we accept God’s unconditional love and work toward loving him no matter how life twists and turns, this love-love relationship will grant us peace through our final breath! I LOVE THIS :)