Best Laid Plans Can Pave a Road to Disappointment, Disaster & Despair
We all do it. We mentally map out our lives down to the comforting thought of passing away peacefully in our sleep at a ripe old age. We prematurely decide what our friends will be like, what our spouse will be like, what our kids will be like, what our career will be like, and on it goes.
As adults, we find it entertaining to ask kids what they want to be when they grow up and how they picture their lives looking. My two-year-old wants to be a snake (she’s weird so she doesn’t count ha!). The answers we typically get are high reaching and void of limitations, boundaries, or worry- President! Astronaut! Pro athlete! Movie star! I want to live in a mansion! I’ll have 17 kids! I’m going to ride around in a limo! I’ll be married to So-and-so! Even from an early age, we want so desperately to believe we’re going to land our dream job, marry our soul mate, have our perfect number of children, maintain lots of longstanding, meaningful friendships, live in our own little utopia, and comfortably retire to our own gorgeous corner of paradise until we quietly fade off into the bliss of eternity.
So what happens when a health crisis or reorg ends your coveted career? Where do you turn when you reach your 50th birthday and have yet to find that person you’ve longed to marry, or maybe you’ve been married to your high school sweetheart for 20 years only to lose them to the bitter sting of infidelity? How do you process the harsh reality of infertility or miscarriage? Where’s the roadmap that helps you navigate the heartbreak of lifelong friendships that drift apart or precious lives cut short long before you were ready to say goodbye? Our early pictures of perfection rarely come with the disclaimers of tragedy and pain that can often accompany us along our journey through this life.
We are allowed to make plans; it’s wise to think about the future and prepare to the best of our abilities. The key phrase here is ‘our abilities.’ We are finite creations with limited control. We need to loosen our grip and stop viewing our plans with a ‘do or die’ mentality. Let’s, instead, view them with flexibility, focus, and faith to be earthly vessels for our Heavenly Father and avoid becoming slaves to the idea of an existence that might not be our Creator’s plan for us.
FLEXIBILITY- Our outlook for our lives can change for a variety of reasons. An altered course can be frustrating, but it is a sign that we’ve been granted the gift of guidance (even if that’s not how it feels at the time). God has his own unique way of gently prodding us toward the direction of his will. We may not understand where we’re going, but we can have confidence in Christ as we continue moving forward. Be flexible, friends. Be open to what the Lord has for you and try not to fight it. Sometimes his leading might spare us from unnecessary pain we didn’t know we were headed for and sometimes he might choose to use our pain to lead us into a space filled with promise and purpose. Be pliable, God has a plan to mold our lives into beautiful masterpieces that bring glory to his name.
FOCUS- It’s always interesting to look at our plans through the lens of raw honesty. Why do we do what we do in this life? Is it because we serve money, pride, power, prestige, or personal gain? Is it because we want to be admired, we have a desperate need to be loved, or we are determined to avoid pain? I encourage you to really dig in. Sin can fog up the glass and cloud our choices, it’s hardwired into our human nature. This is where we need to seek the clarity and help of the Holy Spirit through prayer, spending time in the Word, and asking humbly for God-given wisdom. These actions will help us filter each choice through a Christ-like mindset. If it does not bring forth the fruits of the Spirit by way of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, it has no place in your journey.
FAITH- God WILL work each of our stories together for ultimate good. This is a promise, a solid rock we can stand firmly on even if it seems like all is going up in flames around us. We are his children and he loves us beyond anything we can comprehend. When we are troubled, afraid, lost, or downtrodden, we can still trust him in the storm. When we are happy, hopeful, content, and confident, we can rest assured he is working in the midst of that, too. Each peak and valley is handcrafted to bring us through seasons of growth designed for our good and his glory. Have faith in the process, nothing is happenstance, everything has meaning.
Stay flexible, focused, and faith-oriented, you guys. I promise you, this will remove so much of the guesswork as we each navigate this mucky world. I’m still riding this rollercoaster myself. I can’t imagine traveling alone, I need my Savior by my side. My upcoming book, The Energy Account Principle, recounts how God took a jackhammer to my best-laid plans and highlights the valuable lessons learned in the process. Looking back, I wish I had applied these principles to my own life sooner. Looking forward, I’m thankful I have a second chance to trust that the Lord will continue to change my heart and renew my hope!
Many are the plans in the mind of a man,
but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.
Proverbs 19:21