Masks
Masks . . . that’s certainly a hot topic word in our COVID-19 world right now. But fear not folks, that’s not the kind of mask this blog post is about. So you can all let out a sigh of relief, save the well-intentioned opinions for another platform and enjoy this safe space.
The kind of masks I want to touch on are the ones we wear every day whether we realize it or not. They’re not physical masks, but rather, emotional ones. These masks allow us to hide behind the things we’ve done, the things we wish we’d done, the feelings we’re bottling up and the pain we’re stuffing down. They safeguard us (or so we think) from having to actually face hard realities head-on.
We smile when we’re sad, we laugh when our hearts are sobbing, we fake a friendly front when anger wells up inside. Now, more than ever, we live in constant fear of showing any authentic emotions because so much of our lives are literally on display for the entire world to see . . . and judge. Everyone has an opinion about everyone else which makes for an excellent resource for avoiding any inner self-evaluation.
“You really should be feeding your kids this instead of that,” “If you’d just eat right and exercise your body would look like this,” “If you would just work a little harder, you’d have enough money to afford a lifestyle worth posting all over social media,” or maybe “If you’d work a little less, you’d be able to do enough activities with your family worth posting all over social media.” It’s exhausting and never-ending. It’s also disingenuous and a path to eventual disaster.
The problem is that at some point, the mask cracks, fades, and crumbles in the form of an emotional breakdown, a spiritual meltdown, and/or a physical collapse. I’m a living, breathing example. I simultaneously hustled at work, at home, in my community, and with my family and friends. I have the Facebook and Insta photos to prove it. Super-freaking-woman, y’all. It felt good to hear the symphony of the “wow, I don’t know how you do it all” comments but inside I was living a hellish lie. I had this double life going on. I wanted my cake, the WHOLE cake, and to eat every bite of it in one sitting while avoiding the inevitable heartburn to follow.
Most of it started with good intentions. The problem came when my pride stepped in and took over. There might not be an ‘I' in ‘team’ but there sure is one in pride. It’s smack dab in the middle, friends, and it whispers the most ludicrous and untrue things to our hearts. “You have to keep pushing at work, you’ve got so much to prove and your spouse and kids will understand even though you have nothing left to give by the time you get home,” “Your kids have to appear perfect in the public scene, any misstep on their part will make you look like a terrible parent,” “You have to give any extra time you possess to everyone who asks for it, saying ‘no’ will make you appear selfish and lazy.”
Has your pride put ideas like these in your head, too? Here’s the irony. NONE of this has any bearing on who we really are, it’s simply a way to prevent the mask from moving. It’s all a way of keeping up with the Joneses, the Kardashians, whoever it is that you mistakenly think you’re in competition with. Listen up, their opinion DOES NOT matter. Period. So they think you stink at work, parenting, philanthropy, life . . . let them go on thinking that. Caring on your end is a waste of your precious energy.
God is our only judge, others should be our cheerleaders either in the form of positive affirmation or sincerely helpful criticism. If you are surrounded by people who aren’t doing those things, let them go on their merry way and find someone else to put on trial in their kangaroo courts. You were made in the image of our Lord and redeemed by the blood of our Savior. The valuing of this very image is God’s job alone. And He values it highly, by the way. So take the mask off, friends. Stop suffocating behind your own layers of guilt and start breathing the sweet air of freedom to be who you were created to be.